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 Dead Reviews: Ranking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Films

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PostSubject: Dead Reviews: Ranking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Films   Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:42 pm

Edit: I copy pasted from other sites that I put this on, so if there's no green text like I said I wanted on one of the sites, that's why lol

In honor of this post revolving around the TMNT film franchise, I felt it would be fitting to use the color green for the text ( I couldnt get green on here for some reason so oh well) as I eagerly write about one of my favorite childhood cartoon-turned-into-film franchises of all time, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, you know, those heroes in a half shell....turtle power. Enough with the geek out, let's get on with the rankings!

6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

A movie that I feel was Turtles in Time on film indirectly, this one is by far one of the worst. Why? No Shredder. I understand wanting to go back in time but I honestly feel they should of went back to the time in the film canon where the Turtles encountered Saki before he became the evil mastermind that he is today. It would of been an interesting take on the Turtles coming across Splinter in his human form. I feel like they also wasted Casey Jones in this one, it was more of a "Hey Elias, what are you doing? Nothing? Wanna be in TMNT 3 and do nothing but look after 4 Japanese warriors who got thrust into the future?" Walker was the best character the Turtles came in contact with and I havent a clue why he wasnt the main villain to begin with. Lord Norinaga was made to look like a wimp on account of his son and his girlfriend essentially having bigger balls than him. Ouch

5. TMNT (2007)

A movie that doesnt know where it wants to fit in with the franchise, TMNT is the only one that's animated as opposed to live action with and without CGI. It's also the shortest of the franchise by coming in at a little over an hour. This one...for some strange reason, also doesnt have the Shredder but it does have Karai and she's now in charge of the foot....but instead we focus on a guy named Winters who is trying to stop monsters from invading Earth. Patrick Stewart and Sarah Michelle Gellar make this film otherwise I probably wouldnt watch it as much as I have.

4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Oh boy, this one is coming in at #4 and it's the one the fandom would rather have burn in a dumpster fire but it still beats out TMNTIII and the animated film by a mile. Yes, Megan Fox is still the worst actress of all time whether it be this or Transformers and yes, I'm still conflicted over the portrayal over the Transformer Shredder suit, which....is not the [frick]ing Shredder at all. It also took some getting used to the Turtle designs but I'm honestly glad they didnt change up the origin completely and made them aliens. Eric Sacks has grown on me as a villain and I'm also glad he wasnt the Shredder as well during the final process. This one doesnt answer a lot of questions though...such as why in the hell is Shredder in a mech suit?  How are you getting that much mutagen from the Turtles blood? I dont get it. As much as the fandom hates it, I somehow managed to give it a chance, as I give any film I have interest in seeing.

3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Out of the Shadows (2016)

Now this film blows the reboot completely out of the water. It focuses more on the Turtles and introduces the original cartoon character favorites such as Casey Jones, Bebop, Rocksteady and MOTHER [frick]ING KRANG!! I cant stand Krang's voice though, you can tell it's the guy from Everybody Loves Raymond voicing him and it just seems...off. Shredder is lifeless but still badass, Bebop and Rocksteady are amazing and the action scenes with the Turtles are top notch. I know the Bay Turtles arent classics and TBH I dont think anyone really expected them to be, but this one is a guilty pleasure and Id watch it again and again, if I could.

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

This movie is one of my favorites..not because the Turtles hardly use their weapons and not because any of the originals are in it but because it's FUN to watch. I wish Tatsu would be in the film franchise more because that dude is intimidating as all hell. Keno, not the lottery ticket, is in this film and he's more of a one and done character because I doubt we'll ever see this character in any film ever again. I dont like how Shredder loses much of the intimidation he had in the first film, but since this film was supposed to be more light hearted than the first, I guess I can understand it. The only thing they SHOULDNT of done? The Vanilla Ice bullshit. I'll pass.

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

The movie that started it all. Not much to say other than this is a cult classic and SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH!! I'm sorry, I got a little carried away there. Other than OOTS, this film has the best Foot Clan of any film. OOTS has the badass Foot soldiers, but this one has the BADASS crew. Shredder, Tatsu...scared me to death when I saw this film as a child. Casey Jones....I feel bad for Koteas because he went from this to essentially a cameo in the third. Overall, the best film of the franchise, with the best acting and writing.
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Dead Reviews: Ranking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Films

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